


Things Left Unsaid

by ShenanigansEnsue



Series: Shenanigans and Imagines [30]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 02:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13137543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenanigansEnsue/pseuds/ShenanigansEnsue
Summary: Requested by Anonymouscan I request a Cassian x reader fic? Where they are rlly close friends and in love but they haven’t told this to the other yet, bc the reader has her walls up and all, but Cassian decides he needs to tell her how he feels and all??





	Things Left Unsaid

           There was an unspoken understanding between you and Cassian.

           You loved each other.  You knew it. He knew it. But neither of you said or did anything about it.  

          You had known each other since you were children, having been brought to the rebellion around the same time.  You trained together, fought together, and killed together. You had taken a blaster for him more than once and he had done the same for you. You trusted him more than anybody else in the galaxy and you were sure he felt the same, but there was still a wall between you.  One you had built yourself.  

           You had lost your family and over the years of fighting had lost more friends than at times you could even remember.  Somehow it felt if you didn’t say the words, if you never acted on your feeling you were keeping him safe.  If you didn’t take that extra step, the universe wouldn’t conspire to take him away from you.  So, you stayed silent.  

           You didn’t know how Cassian felt about it.  At times, you would catch him watching you before quickly looking away. You could feel the love in them, but also the sadness.  A part of you knew you were hurting him, but it was for the best.

           There was no time for that sort of thing.  The Empire’s tyranny and corruption only grew with each passing day. That was the only thing that really mattered.  

          Or so you kept telling yourself as blaster fire ricocheted off the deflector shields of your ship.  

          You kept your hands tight on the controls, trying your best to ignore the blood dripping from your hairline and down your face.

          You had been sent out on a mission to retrieve information from a seemingly reliable informant.  It turned out to be a trap.  You only just managed to escape with a busted head and a rusted cruiser with the empire right on your tail.  You just needed to last long enough for the computer to make the calculations to jump.

          Another blaster shot rocked the outside of the ship, almost knocking you out of your seat.  You heard the sickening sound of tearing metal and the warning beeps from the consul telling you lost the deflector shield.  

          In desperation, you dove into a sharp dive, hoping it would throw off the Tie-fighters pursuing you, but no such luck.  The ship you stole didn’t have much maneuverability and it didn’t take them long to correct their course.

          A different beep came from the consul, causing you to smile for the first time that day. You reached out punching the ship into hyperspace just as a bolt of green shot your wing.  The combined jolt from hyperspace and the blast threw your forward knocking you headfirst into the dashboard.  The last thing you saw was a stretch of star lines, and then nothing.

* * *

          A dull steady ache throbbing in your skull was what finally woke you up. You prided yourself on having a high tolerance for pain, but over the years you had discovered there was something about a headache that at times seemed so much worse than a blaster shot.

          You tried your best to ignore it, gritting your teeth as you opened your eyes and blinked away the light.

          You were in a medical ward, that much was certain. You weren’t restrained so you defiantly hadn’t been captured. A quick glance at the state of the room and the equipment told you the rest, bringing a small smile to your face.  You had made it home.

          It was then you noticed a slight dip in the mattress at your side.  You turned your head, to see Cassian fast asleep in a chair right beside your bed. His body was slumped over the mattress with his head resting on his arms. You knew you shouldn’t had been surprised seeing him, but you couldn’t help your heart from aching at the sight.

          Slowly, you reached out your hand, stroking his hair lightly through your fingers.

          He looked a mess.  Even asleep, you could still see the bags under his eyes and the stress marking his features.  His clothes were so wrinkled and ragged and you wondered just how long he had been there this time.

          He started to stir.

          You pulled your hand away, cursing yourself for disturbing him.  He probably hadn’t slept properly since you were brought in.

           He groaned slightly, as he shook his head, trying to get his bearings.  With effort, he turned his gaze toward you finally catching your eyes. He jerked up then, his whole body coming suddenly to life.

          “Y/N,” he said, his voice still hoarse from sleep.  “Are you alright?”

          “Nothing missing,” you said, with a reassuring smile. “Slight headache though.”

          Apparently, he didn’t think it was very funny, as his face grew extremely serious.

          “I can get the medical droid if you need it.”

          You have a firm shake of the head.

          “I’m fine Cass,” you said.

          He took a moment to look you over, checking to see if you were lying about the pain, but he couldn’t find anything.  Relief finally took over his features as his shoulders relaxed.

          “What happened?” he asked.

           “It was a trap,” you said simply.  “Bucketheads had me made as soon as I hit the planet.”

          His eyes widened, looking you up and down as if suddenly in awe of you being there at all.

          “How did you get out?”

          “Luck,” you shrugged.  “I was able to get the jump on one of them and find a transport, just so happened the first one I found had light speed capabilities. You probably gathered from the ship I had a little trouble getting out of the system. What happened after I was knocked out?”

          He didn’t answer right away.  He turned his gaze downward, before taking your hand gently in his.

          “You came out of hyperspace with a ship practically torn in half and weren’t responding to communications.  We got a squad up there as soon as we could, and found you bleeding out in the pilot seat.”

          His grip on your hand suddenly tightened, not unpleasantly so, but just enough to assure him you were still with him.

          “That was about a week ago,” he said softly.

          Your eyes widened in shock as you stared at him.

“What?”

          “You had substantial blood loss and multiple concussions,” he continued, his voice growing tight. “They kept saying how they weren’t sure when you were going to wake up.”

          He looked to you then.  All the fear, and worry evident in his eyes.  Maybe he was too tired to hide it or something else in him had finally snapped. Either way, it was the most vulnerable you had seen him since you were children.  

          “You can’t do that again,” he said sternly.  “Do you understand? Never again.”

          You kept you gaze steady.  You wanted desperately to tell him what he wanted to hear, but you couldn’t do it.  Slowly, you shook your head.

          “I can’t promise that.”

          “Why not?”

          “If I asked you to stop, would you do it?”

          Cassian opened his mouth to counter, but nothing came out.  His shoulder’s slumped and he let out a small sigh of defeat.  He couldn’t give up on the rebellion even if it killed him.  You both knew it.

          He looked back down at the bed, taking a great interest in your entwined hands.

          “I can’t lose you too,” he said quietly.

          You gave him a soft smile, as you gently squeezed his hand.

          “Neither can I,” you said.

          He sighed, bringing you hand to his lips and placed at soft kiss on the top.

          “I love you,” he said.

          You had heard this before. It was a simple “I love you”.  The kind to assure the other that you will be there for them and miss them when they’re gone. It wasn’t the kind you felt deep in your heart, but it was appreciated all the same.

          “I know,” you said with a soft smile.

          “That’s not how I meant it.”

          You felt your heart stop in your chest as he looked back up at you.  

          He did mean it.  You didn’t know why he chose then of all times to say it, but it was out there now and you couldn’t think of what to do.

          “You don’t have to say it back right now,” he said. “I hope, someday you can.  I don’t mind waiting.  I just needed you to know.”

          You didn’t know what came over you. Maybe it was the headache. Maybe it was simply because he said it first, but you felt everything you had buried suddenly bubble to the surface until you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

          “I love you too,” you said.

          It slipped past your lips as easily as breathing.

          “More than anything really.”

          Cassian stared at you in stunned silence, then, slowly, a smile started to spread across his face.

          He reached out it hand, cupping your cheek carefully as if he was afraid he’d break you. He leaned down, finally pressing his lips against yours. You gave into the feeling. Your eyes fell closed on their own as you kissed him back.  You poured everything into the kiss, trying to communicate without words just how much he meant to you as you felt just how much you meant to him.

          He pulled away first, keeping his face close to yours as each of you caught your breath.

          You opened your eyes to see his staring back at you.  You didn’t fight the urge to sink deep into them.  You had never felt more complete as you did in that moment.  You wanted it to last, but soon the fear started to creep back into your heart.

          “I’m scared Cass,” you said, your voice sounding as small as you felt.

          He stayed silent for a moment as he gently rubbed his thumb against your cheek. He then pressed a chaste kiss on your lips.

          “I am too,” he said, “but we’ll face it together.”

          He said it so certainly you couldn’t help but believe him.  A small smile spread across your face. You trusted him. You loved him, and that was all that mattered.

          “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you like this, check out my tumblr @ https://shenanigans-and-imagines.tumblr.com
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos if you are so inclined


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